
GOD HATES HEAVY METAL: FATHER
They kidnapped me from outside my apartment. One moment I was unlocking my bike, the next—a hood, hands, a vehicle that smelled like sulfur and old milk. I passed out.
I woke up, strapped to a table of cold metal—my wrists burned. The air buzzed with some frequency I couldn’t hear, but felt in my teeth. Inside I tasted dread as candles flickered while the smell of rotted flesh lambasted me.
I lifted my head to see my kidnappers in a large dilapidated open room. They’d arranged themselves with their backs to me mostly, in a semicircle around a wall. As I stared, the wall pulsed, shimmered and breathed. Like it waited for me—licking its lips to taste my fear.

GOD HATES HEAVY METAL: The Algorithm’s Final Trick
Rob used to be normal—at least, as normal as a guy who vaped bubblegum-flavored smoke and owned a "Live, Laugh, Lift" poster could be. His diet was 70% energy drinks, 20% Taco Bell, and 10% the free samples at Costco. Life was fine. Then the Algorithm happened.
It started with quirky conspiracy videos. Harmless stuff. "The moon is a hologram," "Tom Hanks was two raccoons in a trench coat," "Your microwave is a government informant." He chuckled, shared a few ironically, and moved on. But the more he saw the videos the more they burrowed into his brain. What if Reptilian shapeshifting aliens really did run Hollywood, he wondered.